I got tagged by Linda for this, after first being tagged by Alafair on Facebook. So here it is in Blog Land!
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
1. I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and grew up in Savannah, Pawtucket, and Dayton, Ohio, but have now settled in Portland, Oregon. Possibly forever, though if I win PowerBall, who knows?
2. I have worked as a graphic designer for 24 years. I have zero graphic design education. Also, I hate working in graphic design, and hate even more its bastard child, web development.
3. I've been sucked into the air by a tornado, my feet scrambling mid-air like Wile E. Coyote. Somehow I landed safely on my feet and kept running until I found shelter.
4. Many years later, I was lifted into the air by a wind storm on the beach at Rockaway, Oregon, and later determined that I was carried at least 150 feet before being dumped onto the sand, bruised but otherwise unharmed. Clearly, I am an idiot.
5. I met my wife by finding her cell phone in a coffee shop, then courted her online via email and instant message.
6. During the 80s, I was a truck driver in the Ohio National Guard. I now think that was kinda cool, though at the time I chafed under military discipline. I chafe under discipline in general though. If I was a lawyer, I'd be perpetually in contempt of court.
7. My childhood dog was a dachshund named Gretchen who loved spaghetti more than life itself.
8. Please do not leave an open bag of Sour Patch Kids or Jolly Ranchers near me. I have no willpower.
9. However, I hate watermelon Jolly Ranchers with the fire of a thousand suns.
10. Actually, I dislike melon and squash in all forms, except for pumpkin pie, which is usually mostly sweet potatoes unless made from scratch using an actual pie pumpkin.
11. Heaven for me will feature hash browns, cheese of all kinds, coffee, and beer.
12. I used to be a sports fanatic. Now I only follow football, but no longer have a favorite team. I just like watching it.
13. I no longer know when any show I like is on TV, because I just wait for the DVD release and watch via NetFlix. Currently smitten by Battlestar Galactica and Life.
14. I have two half-brothers that I haven't seen or spoken to since our father died in the early 90s. Not sure why not.
15. I wish my dog could talk, at least to me, and realize this probably means I'm a little crazy. This is technically Alafair's thing, but it's pretty much true for me too.
16. I'm eating Sour Patch Kids as I work on this list.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Monday, January 05, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wrapping Up '08
I don't post often, but it seems like the day to do a little catch-up. And what better way than to share a few highlights and lowlights, as well as a few hopes for next year. I'm going to start with the lowlights, and then finish with the good stuff. Years ago, in my first writing workshop in college, I learned the rule that if you're going to criticize, end on the positive as it helps temper the negative. But before I get to specific lows and highs, I want to talk about the one thing that is a little of both.
Chasing Smoke
Now, you might think the publication of my second novel is a highlight, and you'd be right. But it's not all rainbows and unicorns. I'm not sure how other writers feel about their work, but my relationship to my writing is probably too emotional, too tied up in existential angst. I am not a fast writer, and as the process drags out, my feelings about my work bounce all over the place. I know I'm not alone in the feeling that work-in-progress is terrible, unreadable, embarrassing. Many (if not all) writers share that feeling at some point in the process. I take it to the next level, where the work-in-progress gets bound up in my sense of who I am. This probably not a good thing, but there it is.
The writing of Chasing Smoke was different from my previous work, too, in that it came after my first book contract. My agent wanted it as quickly as possible, because she very sensibly wants to maintain forward momentum, without too big a delay between books. Of course, the assumption there was that I could write a second book, something I wasn't at all sure of during the writing of Chasing Smoke. As it was, however, I was able to do something I have never done before: keep track of how much time it took to write the book.
And here you go. Chasing Smoke took me twenty months to write from start to final submission draft that Alison and Ben at Bleak House took it on. But I can get more specific than that. Time in front of the keyboard came out somewhere between 1,450-1,500 hours. Of course it was even more than that, since I can't count how much time I spend in ruminations or making notes on scraps of paper and the backs of envelopes.
In one sense, that is too long, arguably way too long. It just happens to be how long it took me. I know plenty of writers work much faster, and produce cleaner, more engaging work. For myself, Chasing Smoke serves as the best work I've ever done. Some people will say that for all the time it took, it should have been better. I wish it was better, but it's done, it's in print, and so be it.
And yet, in a way, I wish I was still working on it. As satisfying as seeing my work in print is, there is something anti-climactic about it as well. While the writing is in progress, its potential outstrips its actuality. In draft, it can still be anything. In draft, I still have a chance to create something truly special. Once it is frozen in print, it is what it is, and all the nits and issues that remain stand out in sharp relief against the fading gleam of lost potential.
But I can't wallow in past work. If I'm going to make a go of this whole writing career thing, I have to keep moving forward, slow as that may be. I'm currently at work on my third novel, tentatively titled Blood Trail, and have reached about 80,000 words of the first draft. The completion date continues to be unknown, but I have to be honest and admit that I haven't come close to any date yet. First it was going to be last June. Then September. Then today. Now it might be next month, next summer, or even 2010. The book is, frankly, a mess right now, and I don't have any sense of when I will sort it all out. But, itis at that point where it is all bright potential, and that's what keeps me moving forward. There are moments which are among the best writing I've ever done. There are other moments which are so awful I can't see how they can be salvaged. But the potential, the fluid, shifting, just-beyond-my-reach potential remains.
Now on to 2008...
Lowlights
The economic world imploded. Every industry got hit, and publishing won't soon forget its own Black Wednesday. In my day job field, graphic design and its bastard child web development, the opportunities shrank as in every other field (except, perhaps, the field of bankruptcy law). Personally, it's hard to know exactly how hard I will be hit, both in the day job and in publishing my work. At least I know that whatever happens, I won't be alone.
Sales of Lost Dog have been very disappointing. The nature of the royalty report being what it is, it's very difficult to tell what's really going on, but when I got the last report and noodled the numbers, it looks like the book has sold under 1,000 copies. Ouch. My hope is I'm misinterpreting something and it's not that bad, but any way you look at it, it ain't great.
Chasing Smoke was released. Yes, this is a lowlight, as intimated above, but also see below, in Highlights.
Chasing Smoke takes it in the 'nads in Publishers Weekly. A bad review is part of the deal when you have a book out in the wild, and Lost Dog got its share. But the Publishers Weekly review really hurt, not the least because when you go to the various online book seller sites, it's the review that gets displayed. No need to rehash the details, but the PW reviewer hated Chasing Smoke with the fire of a thousand suns. And now anyone considering buying it online (go to your favorite local indie bookseller instead) will see, first thing, a review that can be summarized thus: "Chasing Smoke sucks the windy boner and Bill Cameron should be immediately killed for writing it." Oy vey.
Portland Wordstock Festival. Okay, for the record, Wordstock is far more a highlight than a lowlight, and I get into that in detail below. But there was one big disappointment, which was that the book booth didn't carry my books. Now, that happens, but the attitude of those working at the booth was particularly galling, expressing no interest in working with me to get books and offering the perfunctory apology of someone who doesn't feel sorry at all. Because of that I was left with such a bad taste in my mouth about the event that I probably won't do it again.
Highlights
I got to become friends with Alison Jannsen and Ben LeRoy of Bleak House. Win.
Chasing Smoke was released. Natch.
Starred review in Library Journal, and doubleplusgood review in Book List. As much as the PW review hurt, the reviews in Library Journal and Book List filled me with glee. The starred review in LJ was particularly wonderful, and one of the great side effects of that seems to be really nice library sales. Last time I checked Worldcat.org, the library count for Chasing Smoke was up to almost 200, as compared to only 50 or so for Lost Dog. That's moving in the right direction.
Got right with Sandra.
Lost Dog was a finalist for two different awards, the Rocky at Left Coast Crime 2008 and the 2008 Spotted Owl. Sweet.
Chasing Smoke inspired a number of sales of Lost Dog. Double sweet. (Of note was the library count in Worldcat.org for Lost Dog, which was stalled at 50 for about a year, but then started to rise again after the release of Chasing Smoke.)
"Slice of Pie," my contribution to the Killer Year anthology, is described as "an irony-filled gem" in the Chicago Tribune. My first mention in a major newspaper.
My story, "Coffee, Black," is accepted for Portland Noir, one of the Akashic Noir series anthologies. It's a story about Skin Kadash. The anthology will be out in June 2009.
My story, "Counterflow," took second place in the Press 53 2008 short short fiction contest, and was subsequently read by Alan Vogel on Lit 103.3: Fiction For the Ears.
Hanging out at Book Expo America with all kinds of fun people and good friends, not the least of whom are Brett Battles, Rob Browne, agent extraordinaire Janet Reid, the aforementioned Ben and Alison, and so many others.
Traveling the countryside with friends for my book tour, including Eric Stone, marvelous writer and great road companion, and Kelli Stanley and Tana Hall, wonderful hosts. Wonderful friends too, all of them.
Powell's at Cedar Hills Crossing. In Portland, Powell's is an institution, and its reach is far beyond the city. The main store downtown is so large you can spend a week inside and not see all the books. It also features nice satellite stores throughout greater Portland. My favorite by far is the store in Beaverton, where I have had the great good fortune to be hosted by Renee James and Ananda Yorty for not only a signing event for Chasing Smoke, but also at two marvelous group events called "Murder With Friends." Powell's is a destination for any book lover, but for my money, mystery and thriller readers need to go to Beaverton.
Wordstock Festival. I told you I'd get back to this one. And my experience in the book booth notwithstanding, this is a great event for readers. I had the marvelous opportunity to sit on a panel with Phillip Margolin and Robert Clark, as well as to do a reading and Q&A alongside Ed Goldberg. The best part was the chance to lead a workshop on character-driven mystery. My hope is the workshop attendees had as much fun as I did, and more importantly, that I was able to offer something of value to them.
My friends at various independent bookstores, both in Portland and around the country. I know I will forget some, but the list certainly must start with the fine folks at Portland's Murder by the Book. Jean, Barb, Carolyn, and Nick are my heroes. But that's not all. Kindness and support has been heaped on me by L.A.'s The Mystery Bookstore, M is for Mystery in San Mateo, Seattle Mystery Bookshop, Once Upon a Crime in Minneapolis, Mystery Mike's, Tea Party Bookshop in Salem, Oregon, Steve Lee at Heirloom Bookshop, and probably many, many more that I am neglecting.
Next Year
If you've gotten this far, thank you. This post does natter on, doesn't it? Almost done!
It's hard to know what to expect for 2009. Blood Trail has a long way to go, and so an uncertain future. We're all wondering which part of the economy will collapse next, and which of us will go with it. I can't decide whether to be hopeful or to quake in terror. Probably a little of both. Either way, I know I will keep chipping away at the novel, keep chatting with my friends on Twitter, keep gabbing in IMs with my pals from around the world, and hopefully, keep a little day job income flowing. Hell, I might even blog every now and then.
Whatever happens, I hope 2009 offers us all more than our fair share of bright spots.
Chasing Smoke
Now, you might think the publication of my second novel is a highlight, and you'd be right. But it's not all rainbows and unicorns. I'm not sure how other writers feel about their work, but my relationship to my writing is probably too emotional, too tied up in existential angst. I am not a fast writer, and as the process drags out, my feelings about my work bounce all over the place. I know I'm not alone in the feeling that work-in-progress is terrible, unreadable, embarrassing. Many (if not all) writers share that feeling at some point in the process. I take it to the next level, where the work-in-progress gets bound up in my sense of who I am. This probably not a good thing, but there it is.
The writing of Chasing Smoke was different from my previous work, too, in that it came after my first book contract. My agent wanted it as quickly as possible, because she very sensibly wants to maintain forward momentum, without too big a delay between books. Of course, the assumption there was that I could write a second book, something I wasn't at all sure of during the writing of Chasing Smoke. As it was, however, I was able to do something I have never done before: keep track of how much time it took to write the book.
And here you go. Chasing Smoke took me twenty months to write from start to final submission draft that Alison and Ben at Bleak House took it on. But I can get more specific than that. Time in front of the keyboard came out somewhere between 1,450-1,500 hours. Of course it was even more than that, since I can't count how much time I spend in ruminations or making notes on scraps of paper and the backs of envelopes.
In one sense, that is too long, arguably way too long. It just happens to be how long it took me. I know plenty of writers work much faster, and produce cleaner, more engaging work. For myself, Chasing Smoke serves as the best work I've ever done. Some people will say that for all the time it took, it should have been better. I wish it was better, but it's done, it's in print, and so be it.
And yet, in a way, I wish I was still working on it. As satisfying as seeing my work in print is, there is something anti-climactic about it as well. While the writing is in progress, its potential outstrips its actuality. In draft, it can still be anything. In draft, I still have a chance to create something truly special. Once it is frozen in print, it is what it is, and all the nits and issues that remain stand out in sharp relief against the fading gleam of lost potential.
But I can't wallow in past work. If I'm going to make a go of this whole writing career thing, I have to keep moving forward, slow as that may be. I'm currently at work on my third novel, tentatively titled Blood Trail, and have reached about 80,000 words of the first draft. The completion date continues to be unknown, but I have to be honest and admit that I haven't come close to any date yet. First it was going to be last June. Then September. Then today. Now it might be next month, next summer, or even 2010. The book is, frankly, a mess right now, and I don't have any sense of when I will sort it all out. But, itis at that point where it is all bright potential, and that's what keeps me moving forward. There are moments which are among the best writing I've ever done. There are other moments which are so awful I can't see how they can be salvaged. But the potential, the fluid, shifting, just-beyond-my-reach potential remains.
Now on to 2008...
Lowlights
The economic world imploded. Every industry got hit, and publishing won't soon forget its own Black Wednesday. In my day job field, graphic design and its bastard child web development, the opportunities shrank as in every other field (except, perhaps, the field of bankruptcy law). Personally, it's hard to know exactly how hard I will be hit, both in the day job and in publishing my work. At least I know that whatever happens, I won't be alone.
Sales of Lost Dog have been very disappointing. The nature of the royalty report being what it is, it's very difficult to tell what's really going on, but when I got the last report and noodled the numbers, it looks like the book has sold under 1,000 copies. Ouch. My hope is I'm misinterpreting something and it's not that bad, but any way you look at it, it ain't great.
Chasing Smoke was released. Yes, this is a lowlight, as intimated above, but also see below, in Highlights.
Chasing Smoke takes it in the 'nads in Publishers Weekly. A bad review is part of the deal when you have a book out in the wild, and Lost Dog got its share. But the Publishers Weekly review really hurt, not the least because when you go to the various online book seller sites, it's the review that gets displayed. No need to rehash the details, but the PW reviewer hated Chasing Smoke with the fire of a thousand suns. And now anyone considering buying it online (go to your favorite local indie bookseller instead) will see, first thing, a review that can be summarized thus: "Chasing Smoke sucks the windy boner and Bill Cameron should be immediately killed for writing it." Oy vey.
Portland Wordstock Festival. Okay, for the record, Wordstock is far more a highlight than a lowlight, and I get into that in detail below. But there was one big disappointment, which was that the book booth didn't carry my books. Now, that happens, but the attitude of those working at the booth was particularly galling, expressing no interest in working with me to get books and offering the perfunctory apology of someone who doesn't feel sorry at all. Because of that I was left with such a bad taste in my mouth about the event that I probably won't do it again.
Highlights
I got to become friends with Alison Jannsen and Ben LeRoy of Bleak House. Win.
Chasing Smoke was released. Natch.
Starred review in Library Journal, and doubleplusgood review in Book List. As much as the PW review hurt, the reviews in Library Journal and Book List filled me with glee. The starred review in LJ was particularly wonderful, and one of the great side effects of that seems to be really nice library sales. Last time I checked Worldcat.org, the library count for Chasing Smoke was up to almost 200, as compared to only 50 or so for Lost Dog. That's moving in the right direction.
Got right with Sandra.
Lost Dog was a finalist for two different awards, the Rocky at Left Coast Crime 2008 and the 2008 Spotted Owl. Sweet.
Chasing Smoke inspired a number of sales of Lost Dog. Double sweet. (Of note was the library count in Worldcat.org for Lost Dog, which was stalled at 50 for about a year, but then started to rise again after the release of Chasing Smoke.)
"Slice of Pie," my contribution to the Killer Year anthology, is described as "an irony-filled gem" in the Chicago Tribune. My first mention in a major newspaper.
My story, "Coffee, Black," is accepted for Portland Noir, one of the Akashic Noir series anthologies. It's a story about Skin Kadash. The anthology will be out in June 2009.
My story, "Counterflow," took second place in the Press 53 2008 short short fiction contest, and was subsequently read by Alan Vogel on Lit 103.3: Fiction For the Ears.
Hanging out at Book Expo America with all kinds of fun people and good friends, not the least of whom are Brett Battles, Rob Browne, agent extraordinaire Janet Reid, the aforementioned Ben and Alison, and so many others.
Traveling the countryside with friends for my book tour, including Eric Stone, marvelous writer and great road companion, and Kelli Stanley and Tana Hall, wonderful hosts. Wonderful friends too, all of them.
Powell's at Cedar Hills Crossing. In Portland, Powell's is an institution, and its reach is far beyond the city. The main store downtown is so large you can spend a week inside and not see all the books. It also features nice satellite stores throughout greater Portland. My favorite by far is the store in Beaverton, where I have had the great good fortune to be hosted by Renee James and Ananda Yorty for not only a signing event for Chasing Smoke, but also at two marvelous group events called "Murder With Friends." Powell's is a destination for any book lover, but for my money, mystery and thriller readers need to go to Beaverton.
Wordstock Festival. I told you I'd get back to this one. And my experience in the book booth notwithstanding, this is a great event for readers. I had the marvelous opportunity to sit on a panel with Phillip Margolin and Robert Clark, as well as to do a reading and Q&A alongside Ed Goldberg. The best part was the chance to lead a workshop on character-driven mystery. My hope is the workshop attendees had as much fun as I did, and more importantly, that I was able to offer something of value to them.
My friends at various independent bookstores, both in Portland and around the country. I know I will forget some, but the list certainly must start with the fine folks at Portland's Murder by the Book. Jean, Barb, Carolyn, and Nick are my heroes. But that's not all. Kindness and support has been heaped on me by L.A.'s The Mystery Bookstore, M is for Mystery in San Mateo, Seattle Mystery Bookshop, Once Upon a Crime in Minneapolis, Mystery Mike's, Tea Party Bookshop in Salem, Oregon, Steve Lee at Heirloom Bookshop, and probably many, many more that I am neglecting.
Next Year
If you've gotten this far, thank you. This post does natter on, doesn't it? Almost done!
It's hard to know what to expect for 2009. Blood Trail has a long way to go, and so an uncertain future. We're all wondering which part of the economy will collapse next, and which of us will go with it. I can't decide whether to be hopeful or to quake in terror. Probably a little of both. Either way, I know I will keep chipping away at the novel, keep chatting with my friends on Twitter, keep gabbing in IMs with my pals from around the world, and hopefully, keep a little day job income flowing. Hell, I might even blog every now and then.
Whatever happens, I hope 2009 offers us all more than our fair share of bright spots.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
I've been tagged!
I've been tagged by Akasha, and it is now my solemn duty to provide Six Random Facts about myself. No, really. Solemn. And random. Solemnly random. (Okay, who am I kidding?)
Random Fact One. I visit CuteOverload.com everyday. What can I say, I'm a sucker for cute furry animals. And sometimes not furry, as is evidenced by the fact that a one of my favorite cute animal is Ms. Glubber, the leopard gecko who lives on the bookcase in the living room.
Random Fact Two. I am the proud owner of a fairly large collection of Strong Bad tchotchkes and apparel, including figurines, a plush Kick The Cheat, and assorted shirts, hoodies, coasters, key rings, and even DVDs.
Random Fact Three. On two completely different occasions in my life I have been lifted from ground by weather effects and carried through the air.
In the first case, I was sucked up by a descending funnel cloud as I ran down a Missouri road in the middle of nowhere looking for shelter. Sadly, no one was filming as I continued running in mid-air, so I have no evidence of my Scooby-and-Shaggy-esque leg windmilling. Fortunately, the incipient tornado set me back down mid-stride and I continued running without further incident.
The second time, I chose, unwisely, to visit an Oregon beach at night during a wind storm. I thought it would be cool, and besides, I had a raincoat on. The coat may, in fact, have contribute to my lift as the wind caught me from behind and bounced me (I later determined) one hundred yards up the beach. I am grateful the wind was blowing parallel with the coastline, rather than, say, out to sea. The next day, I learned that winds had gusted up to 110 miles per hour, or 165 kph in sensible measuring system.
Random Fact Four I have been offered popcorn by Arnold Schwarzennegar, bought ice cream with Danny Glover at the Fountain Square Baskin-Robbins in Cincinnati, and had David Bowie beg me for a cigarette. Sorry, Dave, but I don't smoke.
Random Fact Five. I was once turned away at the border while trying to visit Tijuana from San Diego because of inadequate personal identification. I had a driver's license, credit and insurance cards with my name on them, and even a business card with my picture on it. Not good enough. A young man ahead of me got through with an expired student I.D.
Random Fact Six. I have a shameless love of rice puffs. (See, solemn.)
Now I have to tag six people, and then post the Rules. Because them's the rules.
So I hearby tag:
Julia
Dusty
Kelli
Brett
Rob
Chris
The rules are as follows:
Link to the person that tagged you - ie me.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself in a blog post.
Tag six people.
Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their post.
Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.
Good Luck!
Random Fact One. I visit CuteOverload.com everyday. What can I say, I'm a sucker for cute furry animals. And sometimes not furry, as is evidenced by the fact that a one of my favorite cute animal is Ms. Glubber, the leopard gecko who lives on the bookcase in the living room.
Random Fact Two. I am the proud owner of a fairly large collection of Strong Bad tchotchkes and apparel, including figurines, a plush Kick The Cheat, and assorted shirts, hoodies, coasters, key rings, and even DVDs.Random Fact Three. On two completely different occasions in my life I have been lifted from ground by weather effects and carried through the air.
In the first case, I was sucked up by a descending funnel cloud as I ran down a Missouri road in the middle of nowhere looking for shelter. Sadly, no one was filming as I continued running in mid-air, so I have no evidence of my Scooby-and-Shaggy-esque leg windmilling. Fortunately, the incipient tornado set me back down mid-stride and I continued running without further incident.
The second time, I chose, unwisely, to visit an Oregon beach at night during a wind storm. I thought it would be cool, and besides, I had a raincoat on. The coat may, in fact, have contribute to my lift as the wind caught me from behind and bounced me (I later determined) one hundred yards up the beach. I am grateful the wind was blowing parallel with the coastline, rather than, say, out to sea. The next day, I learned that winds had gusted up to 110 miles per hour, or 165 kph in sensible measuring system.
Random Fact Four I have been offered popcorn by Arnold Schwarzennegar, bought ice cream with Danny Glover at the Fountain Square Baskin-Robbins in Cincinnati, and had David Bowie beg me for a cigarette. Sorry, Dave, but I don't smoke.
Random Fact Five. I was once turned away at the border while trying to visit Tijuana from San Diego because of inadequate personal identification. I had a driver's license, credit and insurance cards with my name on them, and even a business card with my picture on it. Not good enough. A young man ahead of me got through with an expired student I.D.
Random Fact Six. I have a shameless love of rice puffs. (See, solemn.)
Now I have to tag six people, and then post the Rules. Because them's the rules.
So I hearby tag:
Julia
Dusty
Kelli
Brett
Rob
Chris
The rules are as follows:
Link to the person that tagged you - ie me.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself in a blog post.
Tag six people.
Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their post.
Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.
Good Luck!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Home from LCC
My brain is in a fog after a wonderful Left Coast Crime, but I did want to post this photo of a place in Denver right down the street from Murder by the Book:
While I'm at it, I'll mention the write-up of the Sex and Violence panel I "moderated" over at The Rap Sheet.
And finally, many congratulations to Margaret Coel and The Girl With Braided Hair for her Rocky win. It's a marvelous book, and I'm proud and humbled that Lost Dog was included on the list of nominees.
While I'm at it, I'll mention the write-up of the Sex and Violence panel I "moderated" over at The Rap Sheet.
And finally, many congratulations to Margaret Coel and The Girl With Braided Hair for her Rocky win. It's a marvelous book, and I'm proud and humbled that Lost Dog was included on the list of nominees.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Google's Quote of the Day
Sure, it's from a few days ago, but I can't resist.
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
—Flannery O'Connor
Monday, December 24, 2007
Quiz Time!
 | I received 78 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you? |
| Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is | |
I presume it was out of a possible 100 credits, which means I got a C+. Not so impressive if you ask me, but fun anyway. Not like a spelling test in sixth grade, that's for sure.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Christmas Joke?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replies, "These are Carol's...?"
-------------
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replies, "These are Carol's...?"
-------------
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Spooky Olympic Mascots
I'm baffled by the thinking that goes in to designing Olympic mascots. My only assumption is that mascot designers eat a ton of peyote and a sack of Funyuns, then puke on a big sheet of newsprint.
Voilá, mascot!
Canada has now presented its own entry in a long history of Olympic mascot weirdness.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The problem with satire is sometimes it's indistinguishable from reality
I think this story could just as easily be about the publishing industry: Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Life Imitates Art Redux
Back in March I told the sad tale of the insides of my car being stolen right out of my driveway as we slept. Well, by golly the sucker came back! (Though both times I only saw a medium height, slightly-built figure in silhouette wearing a dark hoody. I don't know that he was the same guy as before, but I'm pretty sure he was. Of course, memory is a funny, unreliable thing under the best circumstances, so I'll probably never be sure.)
Good news this time. I heard him well before he could do anything to the car. And unlike last time, I thought before I acted. Rather than throw open the front door and fling by tender body into the night to yell expletive-deleteds at Mr. Nefarious, I yelled through a partially opened window, "I'm calling the police!" This way, my nice neighbors didn't have to hear my potty talk, and plus, the guy left before he could get away with anything.
Chalk one up for the home team.
Now, if I were really wily, perhaps I'd have called the police without alerting them, giving them the chance to catch him in the act. The problem, as I saw it, is what if they didn't get there in time? Even a fast response might have been beat by an experienced thief, which I'm pretty sure this guy was. Especially since he was probably pretty familiar with the car. The thing is, even if they caught him, it would likely be after he'd removed significant portions of the interior of my car, and I'm just not into another $500 deductible and a probable increase in my insurance.
The most significant thing I take away from this is the fact that I now sleep so poorly that I could hear him before he could actually complete the task at hand. Slight noise? I'm at the window peeking out. Great. ("Could you top off my coffee there? Thanks.")
So what are my options? As Mindy suggested last time, I could try to get the car into the garage. This is theoretically possible, though it could require a number of variables to be sorted out. For one thing, I'd need to install some kind of rope ladder that I could use to pull myself in and out the car window since the garage is so narrow the car doors can't open enough for an actual human being to gain egress. But that assumes I come up with a place to put all the stuff that's in there now. Probably I'd have to build a shed nearly as big as the garage in order to make room for the car I couldn't get in and out of if it was in the garage.
That leaves me with the options of getting a different house or getting a different car. A move is out for now, but a different car? Maybe. Something less interesting, like a Ford Focus, or a high mileage Chevy Citation from 1989. Even if someone did come along to strip such a heap, I'd probably be okay with sleeping through the event.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The Opposite of Olivia
Is there such a thing as genre poetry? I write about one poem a every three years. For some reason, I wrote this one. I dunno where this came from.
The opposite of Olivia
is a name that falls
from a grandmother’s lips,
a name that floats
across a field of wildflowers.
But you’re not listening, are you?
never listen to Livvy
She’s harmless you assure yourself,
married to a dead-eyed man
with hair growing out of his ears.
Offspring like a litter of puppies.
Little brats, all of ‘em.
Not that Livvy notices.
She’s too busy tatting her own doilies,
Shocked by coarse language
such talk, such talk
comfortable with blood.
Chicken blood, beef blood.
Blood pudding.
She doesn’t like new things.
Her towels all match,
curtains made of gingham.
There’s no evidence she ever uses the toilet.
Her hair is always up.
Ham on Sundays.
And let me tell you,
She’ll shoot you if you take one more step
Onto her front porch.
are you listening to me?
I’m not kidding here.
she will
blow
your shit
away
She’s already thinking ahead
To supper on a tray table
in front of the teevee.
Don’t care for new-fangled ideas,
just you
that Olivia, bless her heart.
just try it
Doesn’t like new things.
Grows the biggest tomatoes
this side of the river.
Did I mention she tats her own doilies?
is a name that falls
from a grandmother’s lips,
a name that floats
across a field of wildflowers.
But you’re not listening, are you?
never listen to Livvy
She’s harmless you assure yourself,
married to a dead-eyed man
with hair growing out of his ears.
Offspring like a litter of puppies.
Little brats, all of ‘em.
Not that Livvy notices.
She’s too busy tatting her own doilies,
Shocked by coarse language
such talk, such talk
comfortable with blood.
Chicken blood, beef blood.
Blood pudding.
She doesn’t like new things.
Her towels all match,
curtains made of gingham.
There’s no evidence she ever uses the toilet.
Her hair is always up.
Ham on Sundays.
And let me tell you,
She’ll shoot you if you take one more step
Onto her front porch.
are you listening to me?
I’m not kidding here.
she will
blow
your shit
away
She’s already thinking ahead
To supper on a tray table
in front of the teevee.
Don’t care for new-fangled ideas,
just you
that Olivia, bless her heart.
just try it
Doesn’t like new things.
Grows the biggest tomatoes
this side of the river.
Did I mention she tats her own doilies?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Great Writing
As a rule, I will avoid politics here on this blog. Catch up to me in a conference bar and we can gab about dangerous topics all you want, but here I will generally stick to writing talk, blatant self promotion, and naval gazing.
Still, this morning I read a reaction to the resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales that I think is simply damned brilliant writing.
From Rep. Rahm Emmanuel (D-IL): "Alberto Gonzales is the first Attorney General who thought the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth were three different things."
Still, this morning I read a reaction to the resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales that I think is simply damned brilliant writing.
From Rep. Rahm Emmanuel (D-IL): "Alberto Gonzales is the first Attorney General who thought the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth were three different things."
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Motion
A year after the first mosaic project, a group of participants decided to try it again. This time, the scope was less grand. We didn't combine it with any kind of fund-raising effort, and the presentation was online only -- no prints, postcards, and the like. Still, it was fun.
For my second tile, I decided to illustrate a piece of writing again, but this time I chose a short story I'd written called "On the Road to Find Out." For the text on the piece itself, I wrote a poem based on the story.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
The Failure of the Persistence of Memory
Back in 2002 I participated in a group project online to create a mosaic image. It was described thusly:
35 artists from an online community collaborated to create a mosaic of graphic tiles to benefit United Cerebral Palsy. Each tile was created knowing only a thin border of the neighboring tile - see how the final artwork blends together to form a unified statement of art and expression.
The project was a lot of fun, raised some money for UCP, and left each participant with a little piece of art. A framed print of the mosaic hangs on my wall.
I was tooling around my hard drive and stumbled across the art files and thought I'd share. My own piece is a visual representation of a poem I'd written called "The Failure of the Persistence of Memory." If you like, you can read the text version of the poem here.
A second mosaic was done by many of the same folks the following year, and I will post my tile for that one tomorrow.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Cause . . . Effect
Since my last post got such a rousing response, here is a picture of a rabbit with a pancake on its head.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean
Saw it yesterday. Without getting too much into the good and bad of it, I did want to make one comment.
Keith Richards looked better and was more coherent than I've ever seen (or heard) him.
Just wanted to mention that.
As for the movie, I enjoyed it, but it didn't change my life.
Keith Richards looked better and was more coherent than I've ever seen (or heard) him.
Just wanted to mention that.
As for the movie, I enjoyed it, but it didn't change my life.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Blogger Weirdness
Yeah, I have been really quiet lately. Partly it was because for some reason I couldn't log in to Blogger, but rather than track down the problem I let myself get distracted by things like, um, well, the sun being out, and a couple of books I've been reading, and thinking about starting a new book, and . . . did I mention the sun being out? Anyway, I was distracted and finally figured out it was something to do with Blogger changing something and Opera not really liking it, but then apparently there was an update to Opera which maybe fixed it. Or I dunno. In any event, here I am.
In a few hours, I am going to jump on an airplane and fly to Phoenix. First I will take a Xanax, of course. I'll be visiting my cousin Sara and her husband John, plus their son Little John, and my cousin Liz and her boyfriend J.J. I haven
Then on Saturday I will be getting together with my pals Mindy and Angie for a romp through the Greater Phoenix area visiting bookstores and generally having a grand time. I'm very excited about the trip and can't wait to meet Mindy and Angie in person for real! Digitality Actualized! Woot!
P.S.: In a little while here, I will have a post up at InkSpot. But don't rush -- it's only about half done!
In a few hours, I am going to jump on an airplane and fly to Phoenix. First I will take a Xanax, of course. I'll be visiting my cousin Sara and her husband John, plus their son Little John, and my cousin Liz and her boyfriend J.J. I haven
Then on Saturday I will be getting together with my pals Mindy and Angie for a romp through the Greater Phoenix area visiting bookstores and generally having a grand time. I'm very excited about the trip and can't wait to meet Mindy and Angie in person for real! Digitality Actualized! Woot!
P.S.: In a little while here, I will have a post up at InkSpot. But don't rush -- it's only about half done!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)