Okay, not really. Sorta though.
At 3:00 am this morning I awoke to the sound of the dog huffing and puffing. She wasn't barking, but something was tickling her radar. Based on past experience, I assumed she was woofing at phantoms, and was actually trying to quiet her down, but my wife awoke and said, "Is someone outside, you think?"
"Pffft!" I said.
The thing is, the bed was nice and warm. Outside of the bed, not so much. Still, I got up and peeked out the window, expecting to see nothing. Instead I saw a dark figure rooting through the trunk of our car.
I'm pretty sure my eyeballs made an actual sproinging sound. Naturally I did the precisely intelligent thing. I ran to the front door and yelled out into our quiet, neighborly cul de sac, "Hey, you [expletive implying the person was a male sexual organ]! Get the [expletive referring to a certain sexual activity] out of here!"
To his credit, he complied. Rather than, oh, I dunno, shooting me. (I can imagine the headline now: "Idiot Crime Writer Regrets Confronting Armed Evildoer") But I got lucky.
With the bad guy fled, I hie me off to the phone, dial 9-1-1 and give the dispatcher the low-down. Description: medium height, slight built, wearing dark clothes. That was gonna help. I said, no, I don't need to file a report tonight. I can do it in the morning. But the dispatcher said they would send a car through the neighborhood to check things out. I figured, well, what are the chances they're going the catch the guy based on that description? ("I'm pretty sure he was human!") Oh well.
So I go out to check on what he might have taken from the trunk. Sure enough, the CD changer was gone. But at least he left my sleeping bag, winter coat, and folding chair. Then I looked in the front of the car. Oops.
A patrol car appeared shortly thereafter. I chatted with the officer and we inspected the car. "Damn, he was thorough," the officer said. Indeed. All the speakers. The dash stereo console, which happens to include things like the climate control. The airbags! It's my wife's nice real estate car, so we're talking lotsa speakers and lotsa airbags.
I have to admit. It was kinda funny. The officer and I were actually laughing about it. "Man knew his business," I said.
"Very talented."
"The poodle woke me up, but I didn't listen at first.""Poodles are smart. You gotta listen to your poodle."
I was impressed that they came by for a car prowl. I didn't expect it and wouldn't have thought twice about it if I never saw an officer. I figured I could make a report this morning, then start the whole insurance thing going. So it was nice to see him. He was a good guy too, professional and good to talk to.
I'm not sure why the car alarm didn't go off. Maybe I forgot to set it, but we are usually pretty good about the pressing the button on the key fob. Or maybe the prowler had a way around it. The officer said it was obvious the guy knew his Acuras.
The funny thing is that now, as the daylight grows, the thing that I'm most fretful about isn't the fact that we were victims of a common petty crime. I'm more worried about the way I yelled out swears into the night. Gracious! What will my neighbors think of me?
UPDATE: The officer who came by called a few minutes ago to clarify some things for his report. He said it was clear this wasn't your ordinary car prowler, but someone sophisticated and experienced. That could get the case elevated in priority.
12 comments:
you gotta listen to your poodle. yes!
so sorry about the burglary, bill. my son had his car broken into a few nights ago. it's a real invasion and headache.
My eskie says I should be listening to him. I would, but all he says is, 'That corgi is dumb! Get rid of her.' So unless my burglar were a corgi, I'm not certain I'd get much reaction.
Bummer. At least there was nothing really personal in the car. I'm always bugging my husband about leaving papers, files, etc. in there.
No room in the garage for the cars?
The more we look at it, the more obvious it had been cased and planned. The fellow removed everything carefully, including unscrewing access panels and everything. Nothing was ripped or cut out.
What that tells me is that they'll probably be back. We'll get the car fixed, and there it will be, ripe for the picking again. Alas, it won't fit in the garage. We tried to put a smaller car, an old Honda, in the garage once and it barely fit. The Acura is three feet longer and wider.
I'm not sure what we'll do. We need it fixed, of course. But with only a driveway, it remains exposed. Maybe we can see about upgrading the security system or changing the lighting outside. I dunno. Bleh. That's what I say. BLEH!
Ah, the joys of city life! Our car was broken into 3 times during our 7 year stay in Chicago. Yuck. We went for years without a car stereo, 'cause we were sick of them getting stolen.
That sucks, dude. But yeah, better to listen to the poodle and be wrong than not to listen & be robbed!
Your fixed Acura will be safe. Just put a glow-in-the-dark sticker on the windshield that says, "We have a poodle."
We don't have one, ourselves. The cat might try to be a guard cat, but she sleeps at other end of the house and is not a talker.
Once, we woke up to flashing lights. We figured domestic dispute or something in one of the other apartments. Looked outside, and not only were the cops in front of our apartment, but there was a kid with half his body through the fabric top of our mustang. That'd be a case of "caught red-handed."
I'm glad there was no shooting involved.
Poor Bill. That really REALLY sucks, man.
My car has been violated three times in the last year. Twice in the early evening when we were in the house with the windows and doors open enjoying the nice spring weather. The first two times the theif got away with spare change. Last time, he hit the mother lode. The dude got away with a cup of Chuck E. Cheese tokens, a cd case containing Yummy Yummy by the Wiggles, Elmo's Greatest Hits, Barney's Greatest Hits (vols 1 and 2) and two illegally burned Shel Silverstein cds, and worst of all, he nabbed my prescription sunglasses (which won't do him much good unless he is legally blind.)
My suggestion to aviod future thefts: sleep in the car armed with a baseball bat. It works like a charm. My husband has been doing it for two months now, and my car hasn't been touched once.
...but for some reason my husband has been complaining about neck and back pains and he has been very grumpy....
Oy, Melisaa, the poor fellow!
In the end, the saddest thing about something like this is how commonplace it is. I'm still waking up at every sound, real and imagined, and looking out in the driveway. Of course, now there's only one car until the Acura gets fixed. But you know, it's not like something really bad happened to us. A stereo and an airbag or two got stolen. Life goes on.
Still, I hope they catch the bastard, even if it won't change anything for us.
When my husband was a resident his car got broken into twice under the same security camera in the hospital parking lot. That was Metropolitan Hospital on the edge of Spanish Harlem. They broke the driver's side window and stole his radio. Insurance covered the window because we had a glass policy. They fixed it within a day or two. The next night, it gets broken again. Same window. Alas, the there was no radio for the thief. Insurance company calls us, wondering if they were receiving duplicate bills for the exact same thing.
Can you clean out the garage?
Motion lights help. As does a really obnoxious alarm, and a phone on speed dial for 911. just call when the alarm goes off. You can always call them off if you look out the window and see it's nothing.
Unfortunately, when empty the garage is not quite big enough. It's a sedan, but not overly huge. Still, the garage is more a storage shed than anything else. I think you could fit a compact in there, but if you got the Acura in there, you wouldn't be able to open the doors!
We are looking at upgrading the security system though, and well as adding some lights. There is a motion light that shines on the driveway, but it must not have intimidated our bad guy. What I was thinking was adding a motion light that shines where I can see it in the bedroom. That way if it comes up, I can get up and check. And next time, yes, dial 9-1-1 immediately. None of this crazy yelling out the front door business!
Bill~
I feel for you my friend. I've only been burglarized once - and that was enough. My wife and I were in the house too! And yes, I yelled some choice words down the stairs - all jacked up on adrenaline ready to rumble! Lucky for him (?), he bolted out the front door!
I think I know why the guy ran when you yelled. Were you wearing your cool hat (you know the one) and boxer shorts when you opened the door? If so, he's probably still running!
I think you're on to something, Lee!
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