Friday, September 15, 2006

Dude, have you read The Hobbit?


First things first. The new Spinetingler is up. So go ye forth and download it!

Second, so I was sitting in a brewpub drinking a very satisfying stout (on nitro tap) and I overheard this conversation:

GUY 1: Have you read The Hobbit?

GUY 2: What's that?

GUY 1: Dude, you've never heard of The Hobbit?

WOMAN WITH GUY 2: Honey, I think it's a book.

GUY 2: What's it about?

WOMAN: It's about Hobbits. [giggles, obviously pleased with her wit]

GUY 2: Are they animals?

GUY 1: Sort of. There's a dragon in it.

GUY 2: That sounds cool. What kind of animals are they?

GUY 1: They're like half-rabbit, half-people.

[At his table, Bill thinks, "Wha-?"]

WOMAN: Do they f*** like rabbits?

GUY 1: That's not really part of it.

GUY 2: So what's it about?

GUY 1: It's sort of a cross between James Bond and King Arthur.

[Stout sprays out of Bill's nose.]

GUY 2: A dragon with James Bond?

WOMAN: If there's no sex, it's not very much like James Bond. I'll only read it if there's sex.

GUY 1: There's, like, like escapes and stuff. It's cool. They have to kill the dragon.

GUY 2: Who's it by?

WOMAN: If there's no sex, who cares?

---

I swear on as many kegs of stout as you care to name that this is a true transcript. When The Hobbit conversation fizzled out, they started talking about seeing Green Day in concert.

Finally, but no less important . . .

The Infinite Cat Project!

16 comments:

Julia Buckley said...

Bill, what the heck kind of bars do you hang out in? Excuse my bad grammar.

And your infinite cat project is freaking me out, man.

Bill Cameron said...

Hey, thanks, man!

It was just the Laurelwood Pub on NW Kearney and 23rd. Great stout, and really good fish-n-chips. There's no accounting for The Hobbitoids, I'm afraid.

angie said...

Dude, so there's like, no sex? What a waste of time.

And I'm with Julia on the cat thing. That was flippin' weird.

Sandra Ruttan said...

If there's no sex, I care.

Besides, Hobbits don't just spontaneously divide and reproduce. It's just 'closed door' sex.

angie said...

Sandra's put a little too much thought into the Hobbit sex issue. Dontcha think?

Bill Cameron said...

This might be the moment of cue a Dildo Bagshims joke.

Or not.

Elizabeth Krecker said...

From genius to gutter. What's this literary world coming to? ;-)

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! Pubs, hobbits, and sex!

It comes in pints?

Yes, yes it does.

Mindy Tarquini said...

Hobbits. Cats. Uh. buh.

hmmm...

anne frasier said...

overheard conversations are great. i actually wrote one down the other day so i could send it here:

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/

Bill Cameron said...

Overhead in Minneapolis is wonderful!

'French toast makes me nervous.'

Ah, I love people!

mai wen said...

lol, ironically right after I read your post I read this article:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/2006-09-18-tolkein_x.htm?csp=34

Not sure if you were a tolkien fan or not, but thought I'd share if you were!

Love the cat project, hilarious!!

Tracy Sharp - Author of the Leah Ryan Series said...

I couldn't get through The Hobbit. How sad is that?

Bill Cameron said...

Ah, Trace, but I bet at least you wouldn't say it was a story about half-rabbit/half-people that's a cross between James Bond and King Arthur.

Julia Buckley said...

Okay, here's the weirdest overheard conversation ever (by me, in Washington D.C., when I was eighteen)

Two men sitting at a table at, I believe, a pub called The Rathskellar. And one of them is drawing a diagram and showing it to the other and he says, "Okay, so it goes Gorilla, You, Bozo, Bozo, Bozo."

I kid you not.

Jessica Lourey said...

I'm still laughing about the infinite cat project, but I think, inside, infinite cat is laughing at me.