According to The Onion, "a national coalition of fitness enthusiasts called upon government officials Tuesday to impose measures that would reduce the likelihood of runners discovering lifeless bodies." You can read the whole story here.
I have to admit, this is a topic near and dear to the heart of Peter McKrall in Lost Dog. When he goes to the park to look for his niece's missing stuffed dog, he was going as much to put off a jog as he was to find a lost toy pooch. And who needs to be stumbling across corpses anyway?
I'm sure Peter would agree with this statement from The Onion article:
"We joggers have lives outside of finding violent-crime victims," said jogger Elizabeth Riccardi, who recently stumbled upon the remains of a double-pickax homicide while jogging around the Bartlett Reservoir near Scottsdale. "We're willing to cooperate with law enforcement, but we don't all have the time to be consoled with a blanket and a cup of coffee while some cop asks us the same tedious questions."
Now, between you and me, I think Peter should stop his whining, because if he didn't find that dead hooker instead of his niece's little lost dog, then I wouldn't be imagining John Cusack playing him in the movie version.
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Big thanks to my editor at Midnight Ink, Karl Anderson, for alerting to me to this important news story!
5 comments:
I can't wait to read your book, Bill. I'm so excited! And I don't jog. But I do walk, and I get nervous sometimes. Especially walking around the lake.
I'm also impatiently waiting for your book to come out (and have been for months, dammit).
Gotta love the Onion! Often silly, never, ever boring.
Those pesky dead bodies. I hate it when I stumble across them. Hmmmm...perhaps I shouldn't leave them in the living room so long before I bury them out back.
...I mean...you know...if there were any bodies around...
yes, stop the littering!
BBI.
bury, burn, or immerse.
Those dead bodies are the reason I gave up jogging and took up drink.
No, really, I mean that.
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