The Value of Words

I like to think I have a pretty good vocabulary from all this evident reading and alleged writing I do. Every great once in a while, it even comes in handy. Let's face it, knowing words isn't like set theory or something else you learned in third grade and now, twenty or thirty years later, you still don't know why. Words are useful for all sorts of everyday activities, like ordering a double-scoop of praline ice cream. If you didn't know the words "ice" and "cream," you'd be stuck with a praline, and who knows what that is?

In my case, I earned a major award as a direct result of knowing the word defenestrate means to throw someone or something out the window. Sound crazy? Only if you reject the idea that a maple bar is a major award. Which I don't.

You see, there I was in the Starbucks down on 21st and Division, where one of the baristas had written on the "Today I Recommend" board (words I was able to read due to knowing words), "Do you know what defenestrate means?"

"Tessa" (not a word, but a person's name) was the barista in question, and so I said, "Tessa, are you thinking of throwing someone out the window?"

"Oh my god!" she cried, "you got it! No one else has come close!"

"We should throw them all out the window," I declared.

"Would you settle for a major award?" she replied.

"I would."

She rooted around behind the counter for a bit before popping up and saying, "How about a maple bar?"

"Perfect!" Not only did I win a major award, but my major award was not defenestrated.

So let me end this by saying maple is a word meaning "a tree or shrub with lobed leaves, winged fruits, and colorful autumn foliage, grown as an ornamental or for its timber or syrupy sap" and bar is a word, in this usage, which means "yummy donut in the shape of a rectangular solid, coated with maple* glop."

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After last night, which featured the folks on 65th launching attacks against their enemies on Woodward all night (at least, that's what it sounded like) I'm feeling a little rockheaded this morning. I love fireworks in the sky, but when the entire neighborhood sets off ordinance all night long, it makes for a sleepy next day. Unfortunately, a sleepy work day. This morning, hours after the battle ended, when I step out onto the back stoop, everything still smells like explosions.

My pal Sandra Ruttan gets thoughtful about important questions this morning, and she has fun with questions too over at the Killer Year blog. Meanwhile, Jason Pinter is still decompressing from ThrillerFest, but he offers up a nice round-up of ThrillerFest links to check out.

And a big thank you to Julia Buckley, who interviewed me this weekend. You can read the interview at her blog.

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*see definition of maple above.